Post-immunisation blues

Yesterday you had your third lot of routine immunisations and unlike the first couple of times, you got very ill this time around. Your sore gums caused by teething isn't exactly making things easier. I've been trying to keep your temperature down and I have nursed you like 8 times in the last 12 hours. It always comforts you being nursed.

It's hard to see you feeling so poorly because I have been spoiled with your good morning smiles and loud squeals and giggles throughout the day. Today I realised even more how much happiness you bring into my life.

I hope and pray that you will feel a lot better tomorrow. I want my big bouncy bubba back :)

My First Mother's Day

What I See in You

Being a mother is more challenging than I ever imagined but it is also more rewarding than I thought possible. Before my son came into my life I never really looked that far into the future. I took it one day at a time. But when Scott was born I find myself worrying about tomorrow, next week, next month and even 50 years into the future. Albeit not for myself but for this little man who greets me with a smile every waking morning - the magic smile that makes all the exhaustion from the night before go away. That magic smile that makes all the lack of sleep, lack of personal space and time for myself seem very shallow to complain about.I admit that I didn't find it easy - not at all. Even without the difficulty of my pregnancy, labour and post-surgery complications I still would have found being a mum a real toughy. The absence of my family made a huge impact and nearly pushed me off the edge at one point. But now, that all seems like a thing of the ancient past.

My son makes every day exciting as he learns new things every day. I am absolutely smitten by this little man and my husband often catches me staring at Scott with a smile on my face that he calls "eyes full of love".

I am surprised at how much he is changing day by day. The other day I looked at his photos from when he was a mere 10-day-old baby and noticed his cheeks had quite a few infant freckles. And when he turned a month old his cradle cap was really bad. Of course I was completely aware of those things - heck, I stare at him all day! What made me smile is that at the time of taking the photos I didn't really see how severe the freckles were that they made his cheeks looked so red and dry and his cradle cap was so bad that he lost all of his newborn hair because of it. When I took those photos all I can see was the little boy who changed my life so much and who made me want to become a much better person. Through the lens of my camera, all I can really see is an angel who was sent to me to learn the important things in life that I have refused to learn growing up. When I look at Scott all I can see is my very own flesh and blood who taught me that being a grown up is not such a bad thing at all.

And in spite of all his flaws and imperfections, those that the camera can capture and those that are invisible to the naked eye, I know that no one can ever change the way I see my son.

Piccies!

Getting ready to wean!

Because the health visitor informed us that you have are teething early it will soon be time to wean you. But we will hold out until you are 6 months because right now you are getting enough nutrients from my breast milk and aptamil hungry milk :)

19 weeks!

You decided you were going to sit up unsupported the day you turned exactly 19 weeks!

18 weeks

Health visitor came to see us a few days ago and on your 18th week you measure 66cm and weigh 17.42 lbs!

Motherhood

So I haven't really posted anything on here after the birth of my little boy. I have planned to write every day but to be honest I never expected motherhood to be such a demanding task. I have no complaint whatsoever because my son is the best thing that has ever happened to me. When people say that we never really know pure unconditional love until we become a parent I thought it was just a mere cliche. Now I know that it is in fact a major understatement. Becoming a mother has made it easy for me to want to be a better and stronger person for my son. I have also started paying more attention to the world - from the little things like the kind of people that I encounter in public places to the British economy state. All the things that will or may affect my child in one way or another, be it big or small suddenly matters to me. Becoming a mother is a million different things to me but at the end of the day the gratitude that I have for my little miracle is what gives my life its meaning.

After my 3-day labour and battle with iron deficiency afterward I can now say that it is all worth it. I did not get to hear my son's first cry because my body was resistant to the epidural so they could not perform caesarean section with me fully conscious like what i would have preferred but the important thing is my son is all right. You see that is another thing about being a mum. I used to be a perfectionist and want everything to go according to plan but now as long as I know that at the end of the day everything and everybody is safe and well I am a happy bunny.

Another thing I discovered about myself is I could actually be patient. Whereas prior to becoming a mother patience was in short supply, if not non-existent, I find myself being a lot more patient now. Of course it truly helps that my son is always smiling and giggling and cooing and ahh-ing at me when my back and arms start to get sore from holding him all day. Yes he has always been a clingy and needy baby from the start but I have actually learned to appreciate that now because I know that when he grows up he might not want to be hugged by poor old mummy so I have decided to make the most of it.

I am writing this from my phone and I just got a low batt warning so I better publish this before it dies on me. Hopefully now that my son has a sleep routine at night I will have a bit of extra time to blog.

PS - this predictive texting has changed a lot of the words I typed in so if I missed correcting some forgive me! This programmed dictionary thinks he knows better than me haha

Winter Sunshine

I took my son to sit out in the garden today to enjoy the glorious sunshine for no more than 15 minutes and now his little cheeks are burned... I know his skin is a lot fairer than mine but I didn't think 15 minutes was long enough for him to get sunburn. I guess I should look at getting him some Baby SPF.